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| Gil's Letters Returned |
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My Darling Gilbert...my heart is frozen with fear. Fred''s been officially listed, along with Moody, Charlie and countless of our old school chums. Diana is heartbroken, but being very strong in front of the children. I am selfishly grateful that there is no one in front of me for whom I must maintain such a facade. Gil, all my letters to you have been returned, and your whereabouts are unknown. I can''t live with this uncertainty any longer; I''ve decided to go to Europe to find you. As soon as the ice clears in the harbour, I''ll be taking ship. And I shall search every place I have record of your stopping in France - all of the battlefields - until I find you.This may end up being a journal entry - something I read to myself many years from now to remember... No. I won''t think that way - it may be a while before you read this account of my own travels, since you may be lost yourself right now. But I am willing myself to believe that these instalments of my little travel diary will reach you at some point, and we will sit together and reminisce at all our grand sights and amazing adventures. You are in my dreams and my prayers, and in every waking thought.
How I fear what tomorrow will bring... |
| War Zone |
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Insanity -- chaos. Words escape even me. No time to write. Jack Garrison and I discovered each other on train near Bar-Le-Duc. I was so close to reaching you Gil. It slipped through my fingers. Jack helped me to escape Germans who shot everyone on the train. He left me with his wife? Girlfriend? Colette and an infant, Dominic. Despicable! Collette''s dead, killed by shrapnel -- Jack''s gone.
Caught a glimpse of you Gil -- so close in the field hospital we were evacuating. Dear God! I pray you are safe even though all the information I''ve gathered suggests you may never have gotten out of the clearing centre. Found Fred -- oh, my God, his arm is destroyed! The pain and wretchedness I''ve witnessed are a permanent horror etched in my mind. Must get to London with Fred and Dominic. Jack has a safe place. Will I ever find Gil? Fred''s so sick. I''ll try to get him back to his family. And there is the matter of what to do about this dear little boy Dominic |
| Gil and Jack |
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On The Train
Gilbert, The night before Diana''s wedding, I told her I thought I might be a nun, rather than ever marry. How romantic, I thought, to be as distant and silent in black and white as "the pale watery moon in a midwinter sky", and as untouched by the world''s concerns. And now here I sit on this train through the French countryside, a very married, terribly concerned woman, sharing a sinfully relaxing flask of whiskey with Elsie & Maggie, two American actresses... wearing a nun''s habit! I must get Dominic the child to safety. Oh Lord, please forgive me and protect us. I pray Fred will soon be safe in his own dear family''s arms. And Gil, I think about you every moment. Will I ever find you? Elsie says she can''t look into the eyes of the troops when she performs - for fear. She knows so many of them will be killed. Oh God, please spare my husband! ...My soul is filled with rapture one moment, it seems, and then plunged into bitter despair the next, and in the next it soars to unimaginable heights once again. I am spiritually and emotionally exhausted. The war has ended, but the Armistice not yet confirmed. British and American prisoners just wander about. Streets are filled with rioting. Jack has been a true friend. He wants me to go back to the USA. Be a mother to Dominic. He is in love with me! I have every reason to believe I''ve lost Gil! My search for Gilbert ended as the last hope for a lead had faded with a German nurse who told us he''d been taken away to another cityI found Gil! I am overjoyed and speechless and torn inside. The world is changed irrevocably. To hold Gil in my arms again is all that matters. Not the past, not Green Gables, I cannot go back, only forward to survive. I must find the child... find Dominic. |
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